Source: Google images.
Today is first day back to schools! It doesn’t , however, apply on senior med-schoolers simply because we haven’t yet finished the year before. Anyway, while my sister dressed up for her high school and brother went off to college, I kept remembering the little kid who made a scene on her first day at KG!
I was a delicate three-and-a-half-year-old kiddy whose sense of security boiled down to the word; mom! I couldn’t apprehend being left with kids I had never met before, doing activities I wasn’t used to. A storm of screams and cries had launched and nothing, absolutely nothing could tame it, even candies! I remember when mom eventually gave up, she took me to the school’s playground and sat by my side on a swing until I cooled off. Then she took me home! It took me like a week to adapt!
My first day at college was quite the same, except that I was crying inside. I was a naive 16-year-old teen, completely unaware of what awaits me. Mom couldn’t lull me; she was abroad and totally out of reach. Dad, however, drove me to college and left right away. My aunt who graduated from that very place, nevertheless, was a great company. I will never forget the shock when I entered that lectures’ hall for the very first time! Literally, more than a thousand students sat there, in the same room, innocent-faced and confused, just like I was!
We grow up so fast, don’t we?!
Source: Google images.
Do you know that feeling prior to your very last exam ; that indifference mingled with lust for freedom?? It’s what I’ve been feeling since last March! I have never held any love for studying, but this year, I have no desire as well!
Few days back, I had an Ob/Gyn exam and literally attended without any studying! Next Monday is a BIG midterm surgery exam, that involves the whole curriculum. Guess what, I haven’t yet read a word! And the thing is, I don’t yearn to and I have no regrets!
It’s just… Meh!
Source: Google images.
It all starts at 12:10 pm.. I wake up in panic, for my surgery revision class has already started! I dress up in rush, and dash to the street. Luckily, the centre where the class is held is a 5-minute-walk! Temperature, however, is like hell and sun is licking my face, not to mention the fact that I am FASTING. I need a ride!
I keep walking, hoping that a cab will show up and save me, but no sign! Few seconds later, I stumble upon my cousin’s car and he drives me to the centre! Phew!
Finally, I am here. An hour late, thirsty and sweaty, but better than missing the whole class. I’m ready to pay the fees to the clerk when he tells me the class is CANCELLED!!
Gathering my strength, I drag myself back home. No empty cabs pass by.. When I’m few steps away from home, I decide to get into the market and buy some grocery, the day has to be useful one way or another.. I carry a handful of goods to the cashier, but I drop the yoghurt all over the floor before getting there! Thank God it hasn’t spilled!
“48 pounds!” Says the man. When I look into my wallet, I only find 25! Had to give back half the stuff, and to take the jumbled yoghurt of course!
An hour later, when I check my phone, I find 1 unread message from a friend saying this:
The revision has been cancelled!!
Well, I’ve always been such a disoriented, clumsy quitter. I never plan, and when I do, I never follow what I schedule. Few days back, I read a post by Sara Turner titled: 26 Things Before 26, and for a change, I decided to get out of my comfy zone and set the challenge!
Here are 23 things I’d love to do before my next birthday on February 2! 😀
- Finish my novel(s).
- Win NaNoWriMo.
- Scrub-in: Preferably in an eye surgery.
- Score an A in at least one subject.
- Be among the top 1st 500 students in my class: We’re near 1500, and it ain’t as easy as it seems; I’m now the 617th!
- Reach my ideal weight…. (In progress).
- Finish “Insanity” workouts without twisting any joints…. (In progress).
Learn to swim…. (In progress).
Learn another sport.
- Learn to dance.
Improve my photography skills.
- Earn drivers’ license: I learnt driving 4 years ago and have been delaying applying for the exam ever since!
- Read 20 books at least, including the Qur’an: It would’ve been a piece of cake, if it wasn’t for the medical books I have to read as well!
- Inspire someone(s).
- Speak French.
- Play guitar.
Bake a successful cheesecake: Since every trial so far has ended with failure.
- Go skating: I haven’t skated for 4 years!
Climb a mountain, scuba-dive or jump with a parachute: I bet mom won’t let me though!
- Volunteer in a cause.
Join a book club.
Visit brand new places without traveling abroad.
- Fall in love.. Or not..
I’m pinning the list into my pages’ bar until mission’s accomplished. And for the record, the only thing I haven’t yet quitted is this blog! But it was unplanned at all! 🙂
It never gets any easier; the whole med-school-spinning dilemma. Though it feels pretty satisfying to be the eldest in your college, the bulk you’re supposed to study isn’t pleasing whatsoever!
I’ve always knew “Obs & Gynae” is disgusting, but it has also been proved to be extremely boring; I’m not glad to say it, but when it comes to medicine, women suck! Regarding General Surgery, well, it seems much less boring, but as for a student who ultimately wishes to specialize in ophthalmo-surgery, eye is the only organ that really appeals me..
And here I am, whirling for one last year, holding on my hopes to get out with enough sanity!
Turning twenty-two today, I come to think a little philosophical. As I turn to face the past two decades, I can’t help but ask myself, what did I achieve and what do I want? And no convincing answer comes..
Well, I’m aware that I’m growing stronger, no doubt. I know I’m a single step away from being a doctor, which’s big. I have the skills and the will to be a best-selling author and I’m thankful for everything I already have and everything yet to come, but there’s a tiny jumbled part of me who doesn’t know where I belong or who I really am. Seriously, am I that girl people think I am, that girl I think I am or someone solely alien to herself and the world??
Ever felt that lost??
*Happy dance* Wooh! 14 months of mental and physical spinning have finally come to an end! I still can’t believe I don’t have to dive into jams of medical books for a while, that I’ll wake up whenever I feel like it, watch as much TV as my eyes can tolerate, have time to revive my NaNoWriMo dead word count, get to catch up with friends I haven’t seen for long, earn my drivers’ license, join swimming classes though winter is coming already, lose much weight, and the list could go on forever! 😀
And most importantly, I will get back to aching your heads with my rumbling! 😀
This year’s curriculum!
Twenty days ahead, coming with thousands of pages before final exams flood me for a month and a half! I still have no idea how I’d manage to finish all these books, in fact, I know I would never! There’s always a book or two that remain never opened, not mention a bunch of pages in each book.. It’s my ultimate procrastinator’s habit!
However, it’s so complicated this year; you can’t just leave a book unread, ’cause all the chapters are connected! I’m not used to racing the time, so now I guess is the right moment to panic!
“A good doctor is a good observer.” Our professors keep saying! In fact, the effort a medical student exerts revolves mostly around obtaining that fine skill of watching. It’s all about scanning your patients for clues, and grasping threads that lead you to a close view of whatever illness they have.. Things referred to as “signs” in every medical book..
Source: Google images.
It’s confusing as you begin learning, for it ain’t that easy to “decode” those “signs”, analyze them and get a conclusion within few minutes, but eventually your eyes end up detecting random passers-by in the street!
The other day, I saw a slowly walking old man with shivering lips. I found myself subconsciously observing the tremors appearing in his hands, then “Parkinsonism” came on my mind! Today, I saw a man with a staring look and protruding eyes, I automatically shifted my gaze to his neck pulsations to find them pounding strongly, then “Thyrotoxicosis” gleamed in my head!!
I know it’s awkward, but if you found someone staring at you, don’t freak out, it might be a harmless doctor trying to figure out what you have! 😛 😛